Thursday, March 4, 2010

Our journey has begun ... again

Husband, father, young, healthy, smart, funny, quite, athletic, and strong - These are just a few words that I would use to describe my husband. Cancer patient wasn't even an blip on the radar screen.

This is my story. The story of a young woman, mother of a toddler, and wife of a cancer survivor who is now fighting cancer again.

When Patrick was diagnosed with cancer the Tuesday after Memorial Day 2009 lots of people suggested I blog about it. Really? Our daughter Cameron was 17 months old, my job was in limbo, and I hardly had time to draw a deep breath. Blog? Who has the time or energy for that. If I sat down longer than 10 seconds, I would fall asleep. My life felt like it had been snatched to a screeching halt - CANCER!! WHAT??

After one of the longest weeks of my life waiting to get into to see the doctor, The oncologist in Columbia's first question was "Can you go to Texas?" That was Monday; we were in TX on Thursday. Our entire 2009 was spent fighting the intruder into our life known as an adenocarsinoma of the sinus. Trips back and forth to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston; hours in waiting rooms; praying my way through 8 hours of surgery; long nights "sleeping" in that uncomfortable chair in the ICU; watching Patrick leave to drive to TX to begin his radiation alone; listening to Cameron ask for her daddy, knowing that it would be weeks before we could be with him; sleeping alone knowing I would kill to stick my cold feet on him; the sheer elation of seeing him in the airport; the gut wrenching feeling as I watched him so tired that he could hardly hold his head up; nearly force feeding him when he didn't feel like eating.....the journey was long, difficult, and it put my whole world in perspective. He finished radiation treatment, and I drove Patrick, Cameron and me 20 hours home from Houston, and back into normal life...At least that is what I thought.

Monday, March 1st Patrick went to his Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor for a regular 3 month check up and he said "I see something that looks abnormal. I'm going to do a biopsy. We will know in a couple of days."

All of you that know me will be able to picture this:

I swoop into the house after a long day of work and commence a monologue of my day and the excitement of Cameron successfully going to the potty THREE TIMES at daycare. Then Patrick gets the quick list of questions "What do you want for dinner?" "How was work?" "How was your doctor's appointment?" Then he gives me the news. I get hot all over and feel like I might throw up. I well up, and a few little traitorous tears escape from my eyes. I manage to keep it together long enough to get in the car to go pick up some dinner, and I wept all the way to Papa John's. I get in the house, feed Patrick and Cam some pizza, and I just look down.

The wait begins.....

No comments:

Post a Comment