That was how I felt Monday. I made arrangements to work from the oncology center, get up early, and packed up my briefcase and was ready for the day. Patrick and I took separate cars because I had to take Cameron to daycare, and then I had a "lunch date" with my OB/GYN. Of course I catch every red light, little old lady, and "Sunday" driver on the way to drop Cameron off. As I am fastening my seat belt in the parking lot after dropping off fizzle britches, I get a text from Patrick that says "Come on back when you get here, I am in the exam room." I feel super frazzled because I feel late, and I hurry as hard as I can (within the traffic laws). I search for a parking space that in the same zip code as the building, and hustle into the building. Dr. Smith, and Nicole (Dr. Smith's PA) are in the exam room looking very smart in their snow white coats. Patrick is perched on the exam table. Dr. Smith and Patrick were talking about some research that Patrick had done on treatment ideas, and Dr. Smith says well "If it is operable then ...." (Insert squealing tire noise here) "If?" "IF?" If had never even crossed my mind. What are you talking about "If it is operable?" I manage to hit the mute button on the squealing tire sound, and Dr. Smith continues to talk in his super friendly voice. "If it is operable, then it may be surgery alone or surgery and chemotherapy. If it is not operable, then chemo would be the treatment plan because you can't have anymore radiation." Then he says "You will need to get things set up to go back out to TX." No tests? No blood work? No scans? Why in the world would you have us come in for "If...." and "You need to go to TX." I am not sure what his bill rate is, but I could have told Patrick that for free!
I spent my lunch taking Cam to get her shots and then I had my annual. In addition to being very handsome, friendly and funny, Cameron's pediatrician is very efficient. We were in and out of there in no time. Cameron was such a brave little champ. She didn't even cry when they did the finger prick! She impressed Dr. Willard by telling him lots of shapes that we had drawn on the paper on the exam table. He was extremely impressed with the fact that she identified an oval vs. a circle. That's my girl!! He asked how we were doing, and I said fine. Later in the visit, he asked how Patrick was doing, and I welled up a little. I told him about the reoccurrence, and he said he knew something was wrong. "I heard a sigh in that 'fine.'" I didn't cry, but I think it was more that he had good timing on going to get the nurse to give Cameron the shots.
After rushing her back to school, I am off to my doctor for my annual. One thing about my OBGYN is that it takes 3 months to get an appointment, but you are in and out very quickly. Dr. Painter is such a sweetheart. Amazingly my blood pressure was very good. As all ladies know that you have to wear paper "gown" during your appointment Dr. Painter comes in, and she said "How is that baby who isn't a baby anymore?" I brag on how funny, cute, smart, and AWESOME Cameron is. She tells me about her kids, and then she asked how I was. I burst into tears. I didn't just cry; I wept. There I am wrapped up in a paper towel crying my eyes out. I think it took her a little off guard, but after the shock she handed me a tissue (not that I needed one - I was wearing a whole box of them) and told me that she was here if I needed her, and not to hesitate to call her.
I head back to the office feeling pretty defeated. I check my email, return some phone calls, and get ready for Tuesday. I'll have to wait at least a week for answers.
Where is my sneeze?